I knew I am not her type. Besides, I have been feeling all depressed and letting my life wasted away like that. Practically, I have nothing much to offer to anybody. Everytime I see my friends who have built up their lives, working hard, earning good money, save up, get married, and have kids, while I was just letting time goes by. Nowadays, my friends are all talking about buying house or apartment, which is expensive and which is better, stuff like that, or even what's good to invest in and what's not. I just can't see myself doing that yet. I have nothing, to say the least.

While I may not be the one, I guess there's nothing to stop me from caring for you, even if you don't. Would anyone sound in mind do such things, knowing that there will not be reciprocal, instead, it may be seen as annoying. Perhaps it's one sided, it's selfish, it's silly.

I really don't understand what is life now. What would a person call a normal life, making a living, enjoying the life that we all know it. Why can't I just be like normal people, pursuing what's normal in life. Living to the full, think less, do more. Where have I gone wrong, and who cares, really.

It's been 2 weeks since I told her ... I haven't really talked to her in person since except on the phone, which was the last time. I don't know if I'm feeling sad and depressed again or what .... just dun have da mood to feel happy, really .... I'm going crazy